Thursday, April 05, 2007

Delicadeza: A Lesson In Principle

A Final Thought About That One Sad Day

I remember a quiet unfortunate event in time as it just bores a hole deep through my heart...for on that day I knew that when push comes to shove, I will be left to myself...and so for a brief moment now, I will rant...

To be misunderstood is easy.
To agree to disagree is easier.
To speak about love and respect but under skewed self-serving perspectives is anomalous.
To be persuaded to respect another but to be disrespected as a result is worth a sword and a cause on the table.
There is such a thing called Delicadeza. My culture defines it so. It means for one to behave and conduct oneself rightfully, appropriately, in good taste, and be in a proper place. It is a principle and consequently a right to conduct oneself with dignity and be accorded that earned respect -- for one's personal wishes and preferences.

I never thought that one day I would be talking about this given. Apart from a discussion in school about those tv commercials that portray cultural customs back in the early 80s, I've never been placed in a position to explain it. I call it a given because it is rooted from respect towards another alongside self-respect. Ergo, end of discussion. Supposedly.
When personal boundaries are subtly and slowly disrespected, it just creates a deep and great divide. Then this so called subtle disrespect is enclothed with a misplaced logic used as a paradoxical soothing weapon -- of twisted circuitous rationalizations and forayed cliche'd arguments. Just to nurture a time-tested ritual of perhaps a habitually torn soul that is every now and then enamored by that trampled position.

When an action is simply unfit and inappropriate personally, why then is it to be labeled instead as a poor course on judgment towards another? The issue of the one employing this delicadeza (that being myself) is not towards the other person or persons in question. But towards the situation (the awkwardness and the non-tasteful scenario) at hand. There is a big difference. But the one who is unfamiliar with the principle or chooses not to be keeps arguing for the defense of the other person. Obviously, this unfamiliar one places himself on an automatic defense. In effect, falsely judging my simple choice. It was totally unnecessary. Except in the dream scenario of a fantastical hero in a drama scene rescuing the underlings. At many points, pathologic, I am tempted to think.

This is my question, "How can then a simple code of conduct on my part be questioned totally way out of proportion?" My simple wish and position was then instead turned around, muddled, trampled upon, played with, made to complicate -- and for one moment, it was totally a different story. I shake my head in utter disbelief. My optimism is shattered at that instant. For what reason? To be free of future remorse and accountability? Or an extension of a historically fought cause I don't even have time for? Again, a pathology of a cycle silently alerts me.
Cultural divide perhaps? Maybe not. Another rationalization. Another simpler escape of the day.

An interesting baloney.
I will not be spread to thinness. I will not be party to a panicked resolution of beguiling openness because such is nothing but an ill defined meaning of life. A life without accountability. A life of false freedom.

I will not tread on that noisy path of a preferentially chosen maligned understanding of my position.

Delicadeza is a principled choice.

Houston Zoo
Houston, Texas


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