Friday, August 17, 2007

New Face

I am slowly transitioning this blog. It has been left alone cold for some time. It in fact bore a cold face towards visitors. Welcome to its new face as this blog prepares to stop being disinterested soon and has had enough of the frozen turkey writing.

In the future, I will share about some travels I've recently been in, healthy food that I experiment with, and more interesting explorations as I journey on with life. Forget about time when you're in here.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Random Scribbles: Scenes When I Close My Eyes

Every morning, the books arrive. They come in boxes of the same shape and sizes. 24x24inches. Brown sturdy boxes that would then protect the soft covers of the books stocks from being mangled and such.

My job is to pile them in yet again precise, neat stacks by the corner of the office warehouse. This is my life, every morning of everyday.

By 10am, sometimes, I get done quite early, I get to sit at my desk, a very small one at that just by these neat stacks and I have a bit of time to ponder my life. I work with books but I never even wrote anything. I wish I did. Like one of these authors I glance about in the books that I receive at work. I’ve never read any of the man’s work though. Well, I haven’t read a lot of things in a long time. It is tough. My mind is dried up like a prune. I don’t even want to begin thinking about it, it just gives me a headache. So, I’ll just head on and type some paperwork and get on placing my boxes in a neat pile.

there is no continuation to this story as of yet...

10 February 2007
Houston Zoo
Houston, Texas

Wednesday, June 20, 2007


Time is one of the greatest tormentors of a life. It moves so slow when the days are spent in hell. It moves swiftly away when all we want is to seize one joyful moment we are in.

Time can be one’s greatest ally, on the other hand. But only when one forgets about it.

28 May 2007
overlooking Mexico City

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Delicadeza: A Lesson In Principle

A Final Thought About That One Sad Day

I remember a quiet unfortunate event in time as it just bores a hole deep through my heart...for on that day I knew that when push comes to shove, I will be left to myself...and so for a brief moment now, I will rant...

To be misunderstood is easy.
To agree to disagree is easier.
To speak about love and respect but under skewed self-serving perspectives is anomalous.
To be persuaded to respect another but to be disrespected as a result is worth a sword and a cause on the table.
There is such a thing called Delicadeza. My culture defines it so. It means for one to behave and conduct oneself rightfully, appropriately, in good taste, and be in a proper place. It is a principle and consequently a right to conduct oneself with dignity and be accorded that earned respect -- for one's personal wishes and preferences.

I never thought that one day I would be talking about this given. Apart from a discussion in school about those tv commercials that portray cultural customs back in the early 80s, I've never been placed in a position to explain it. I call it a given because it is rooted from respect towards another alongside self-respect. Ergo, end of discussion. Supposedly.
When personal boundaries are subtly and slowly disrespected, it just creates a deep and great divide. Then this so called subtle disrespect is enclothed with a misplaced logic used as a paradoxical soothing weapon -- of twisted circuitous rationalizations and forayed cliche'd arguments. Just to nurture a time-tested ritual of perhaps a habitually torn soul that is every now and then enamored by that trampled position.

When an action is simply unfit and inappropriate personally, why then is it to be labeled instead as a poor course on judgment towards another? The issue of the one employing this delicadeza (that being myself) is not towards the other person or persons in question. But towards the situation (the awkwardness and the non-tasteful scenario) at hand. There is a big difference. But the one who is unfamiliar with the principle or chooses not to be keeps arguing for the defense of the other person. Obviously, this unfamiliar one places himself on an automatic defense. In effect, falsely judging my simple choice. It was totally unnecessary. Except in the dream scenario of a fantastical hero in a drama scene rescuing the underlings. At many points, pathologic, I am tempted to think.

This is my question, "How can then a simple code of conduct on my part be questioned totally way out of proportion?" My simple wish and position was then instead turned around, muddled, trampled upon, played with, made to complicate -- and for one moment, it was totally a different story. I shake my head in utter disbelief. My optimism is shattered at that instant. For what reason? To be free of future remorse and accountability? Or an extension of a historically fought cause I don't even have time for? Again, a pathology of a cycle silently alerts me.
Cultural divide perhaps? Maybe not. Another rationalization. Another simpler escape of the day.

An interesting baloney.
I will not be spread to thinness. I will not be party to a panicked resolution of beguiling openness because such is nothing but an ill defined meaning of life. A life without accountability. A life of false freedom.

I will not tread on that noisy path of a preferentially chosen maligned understanding of my position.

Delicadeza is a principled choice.

Houston Zoo
Houston, Texas

Wednesday, April 04, 2007


About Time

It seems that gone are the days when physics is some set of unfathomable figures and theories for the select minds. As the scientists over the years have discovered more and more about this natural phenomenon, we are now nearing the threshold where a new world culture is in view. A world where talks about energies and its levels, further mind explorations, and time-space continuum is spoken in everyday shop talks and such. Where individuals who have evolved into this open awareness do not need to find sanctuaries or be labeled as heretics and destroyers of established religion. Naturally, our world will open up and listen more.

However, this flow will only take place when fear is overcome. Individual and collective. As we observe around us, visionaries and teachers are letting themselves be heard as they strive to express the truth. This is one example of breaking down the walls of fear.

As our world turns and evolves, individual lives evolve. Consciousness develops and further develops. Awareness brings us to the center of our beings and our individual purpose. Love is always our check.

Many books have been written about the same message over and over again. Through time, generations, and cultures. Many versions of truth come out and cloud our understanding sometimes, but it brings one message---hope in this dwelling, love within that embraces throughout, faith that takes care of all.

to be continued...

Have a Blessed Easter!
19 February 2007
The Art Museum of South Texas
Corpus Christi, Texas

Friday, March 02, 2007

Of Freedom and Of Chains

A Reaction to George Orwell’s 1984,
as performed by The Actors’Gang

I watched as the bruised and bloodied man on stage was further beaten for two hours. Soon, I began to consider the “polarization of fear”, borrowing James Redfield's phrase from The Tenth Insight, and its consequences.

The play expresses a view on a possible evolution of a state towards a horrifying norm in its effort or belief in its ability to create a well-contained environment…in the name of order, in the name of protection, in the name of peace-for its people. Totalitarianism a.k.a. a deliberate enclave where its inhabitants shall become accustomed to endless limits of thought and living. Such limits brought on by glorification and celebration of fear. In fact, its national flag becomes fear itself. And its bearers shall defend them till the very end at the cost of such atrocity as being open to loss of life by means of its leash pulled tighter and tighter next to its final knot till it is stained with blood upon blood. In that dwelling, one gets convicted just because of disagreeable thoughts with the order of the state.

What I saw tonight was a play. I am glad. I am free to walk the streets with a loved one at night. I am free to form my own thoughts in my mind. I am free to write them out here. I am so glad. And I so much hope our societies all over the world would not come to that point. Where our every move is watched and doubted. Where every second is a possibility for us to be a target of a senseless ego issue.

At the same time, the play aims to reach minds, hearts and souls. For while we go on living our dailies, while we laugh, while we complain about the mundane, while we dream, events are unfolding around us, whether we observe it or not…wars erupting, identities being stolen, private spaces invaded, neighbors violated, minds clouded. These are examples of fear’s manifests. Common as everyday. More common now as the next cup of coffee. And cumulatively may result to what a free soul could not fathom. Fear begetting fear. And so on.

If we are not careful with our society, the balance may tip for it to evolve the other way…away from peace, away from enlightenment, away from love. Eventually, so far away from our higher selves. And this dark vision may truly become our existence. May God forbid.

After this reaction, I inwardly celebrated my soulful company, the impressive theater, and the beautiful night downtown. And I am just glad to be sharing a warm chocolate cake with someone* before heading home and worrying about it more.
30 September 2006
Wortham Center’s Cullen Theater
Houston, Texas

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Almost Gone: The Blog

Too early...too late...?

It seems on this day, the arrival is too early to wait faithfully for the morning liftoff of the Ballunar Festival. So while finding and deciding on a view spot, joining some cars parked along the highway just outside the Johnson Space Center seemed like a fine idea. Soon, some microlight aircrafts were starting to dot the skies. Quite ideal for this person's purpose to also shoot some videos after ages of not doing so. After some clips have been taken, it eventually felt wiser to drive around more and see some of Clear Lake to spend the wait. And so it was done so.
Later on, the intent to go back to the NASA area was slowed down by the graying sky and assumption that the balloons could not possibly rise under this weather. But they did and the event was almost missed had going back was foregone.
At some point consciously and at another point otherwise, an awakened life is aimed for by all. And for an awakened life, there is no such thing as too early, too late. Every moment is right. Whether one is up, down, or in between. It tells us that waiting is to be celebrated as much as driving by, just cruising, or breezing through. Every moment, every second always has something for the mind, heart, body, and soul. Rain or shine, life goes on, life is lived. One does not even need an umbrella.
In this life though, there is no going back. And ironically, for those who keep going back, it spreads the living too thin, too easy to break. To live the day would definitely take care of the need to go back or the issue of where to go next.
Life is not the spectator of the is the event that is happening now. With or without a spectator, it lifts off as scheduled. The weather is just a matter of circumstance and it too shall pass as we all know.
In my own life, I have gone back a few times when I should not. At some point, I have also looked too far ahead when it was not time. And I am reminded of this today.
I guess this is all what I have to write about this day and these photographs.
26 August 2006
Ballunar Liftoff Festival
Nassau Bay, Texas